We left off with the aforementioned overtaking of our room
by the enemy.
Our front line retreated and we took cover in a room across
the hall- with full knowledge that this fortress was only temporary. We’d be
moving again the next day.
As an aside, first class is not first class. Good thing we
brought our own sheets, pillows, lights, towels, mugs, coffee making apparatus,
extra clothes for warmth, ear plugs, and anything else to distract us from our
most uncomfortable surroundings. We are becoming much more prepared travellers.
We ended the day with a short podcast by The Moth and
hunkered down for the night with the words “5 hours down”. We knew what was in
store for us- this ain’t our first rodeo.
Alarm went off at 7am to start day 2. But do you really need
an alarm clock when you’ve been awake all night? Not so much. From 11pm to 1am it sounded as if all hell
were breaking loose as the boat docked, then set off, then docked again. We
were both awake shivering around 4 am.
Breakfast that morning consisted of white bread, butter and
hard boiled eggs. Not much to write home about, but it did the trick-
especially with Habit coffee in hand.
Then we launched into the true work of the day- taking
notes.
As stated earlier, the weekend was comprised of small
lectures, workshops and small group discussions followed by presentations. We
drew the short end of the stick, and were deemed the “scribes” of the
conference. We walked about, computers
in hand and attempted to decipher between fits of Bangla and English (but damn-
we are good. We’re so fast, we caught gasps and verbs, and nouns, and feelings
and glances and snarls) and we don’t even know what else. Each group had a
clear goal (or at least we thought they did) but as we ventured about we
realized that the future looked bleak. We noticed that the appointed
foreigner/mediator of each group was ready dive overboard due to frustration
with the lack of focus and cohesiveness. This is an understatement.
A small break
followed where we enjoyed a delightful cup of tea on the deck. Here, we will
introduce Scuzzy McScuzzerson- the secretary to the secretary of the assistant
to the secretary of someone important we don’t know who. He was a sweet man,
with good intentions however most things that came out of his mouth were mildly
inappropriate or completely uncalled for. For example, we are enjoying our tea
on the deck, and he joyfully prances from around the corner, stopping in front
of us- posing with his hand splayed outwards stating, “ I have just washed my
body”. He holds his pose, waiting for we’re not sure what. The awkward silence
that ensued felt like a lifetime as we nervously smiled, acknowledging that yes
in fact, he had washed his body. We’ll
sum it up to his best, and the worst pick up line we’d ever heard.
Insult #5 (in case
you’re keeping track) occurred just before we sat down to the first round of
group presentations. We were standing in
a small circle, discussing the weather when
“shaky voice” (although physically strong) decided to walk THROUGH us
instead of around us. She literally lowered the shoulder in a Rugby style move
and body checked Ricki to the side. This was followed by Heidi’s total shock of
what just happened and stunned rely in her direction of “REALLY??” and Ricki
resetting her shoulder. Unbelievable. Post assault, we calmed each other down
with under our breath heckling to the tune of “ You wanna
start this game? I invented this game! I’ll show you what a real body check
looks like, and afterwards I’ll ask you how the water feels- my guess is wet!”
Insult #6 And now, our most despised enemy- “Pinky”. Just as our jets are cooling, Pinky walks
though the door and coolly states, “ Heidi, you look tense- you look unhappy”.
We can’t convey the tone here, but it was more like a cruel joke, more like “
Oh, what’s wrong now you poor baby? Can’t handle the bullying? Awwww, poor
little white girl”. To keep from
loosing it completely Heidi responded, “ I’m fine- just tired”. Big. Fat. Lie.
After this, there was nowhere to turn to but our beds. We
took a nap.
The rest of the day was a blur of one-sided conversations
with people who only cared about one thing- making sure we knew how many
degrees they had and where they got their masters from. We also realized then, that we wouldn’t be
showering the whole weekend. The bathrooms were horrid- no toilet paper, water
dripping down on you from the ceiling, awful smell, no soap. The ship’s
employees were also fond of their aerosol and took great liberties and seeming
joy at spraying their poisonous gas everywhere and at the most inopportune
moments- like when you’re standing less than a foot away. They kept saying it
was for mosquitoes but after Karen finally yelled “STOP THAT” and grabbed it
away, we saw that in fact it was just air freshener and be assured, the most
artificial and noxious kind.
Our day did end on a humorous note, with Scuzzy back in our
lives. We’re at the door of our bedroom, and he literally dragged us out to the
deck. With childlike delight he points
into the sky and states “ Look!! The moon!!!” We aren’t sure at this point the
response he’s wanting so we say “ Ah yes, the moon”. And then he goes on to ask us if we have the
moon in Canada. To this with confusion we respond, “Yes, yes we do have the
moon in Canada”, but in order not shatter his hopes and dreams Heidi says “ But
perhaps our moon is seen from a different angle”. He also keeps emphasizing the
fact that it’s a full moon (when clearly it is not). Again, our Canadian
kindness shows when Ricki says, “ Well, almost, yes, it's close- almost full”.
With day 2 over, we drift off to sleep trying to make sense
of what just happened, and pray that tomorrow will be better. Unlikely.
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